April 2009
1 post
emails from my coworker, part 3
inthefade:
This was waiting for me this morning in my work email:
Dear friends (all 156 of us):
Did you know you have a pocket angel? God hand picked your angel for you and because I sent you this email, he put that angel in your pocket! If you love your angel (and me, lol) pass this on to your friends and your angel will reward you with good luck and blessings!
Before I was an Angel I was...
February 2009
3 posts
theloveyturtle:
Stupid Work Girl: Wait, can you recycle tissues? Everyone: ….. SWG: What? It’s paper. We should recycle it. I’m going to make a bin for it. Everyone: …… Co-worker: That’s gross. SWG: I’m just trying to be a conservative! (walks off) Co-worker: What an idiot.
“What’s a lymph note?”
– we lost the original dumb coworker to Chicago but she’s already been replaced.
We call this coworker SMILE because of her...
LOLison’s Boss: “Now this girl makes my day easier, she brings sunshine….makes my day so fast.”(referring to LOLison)
Hated Coworker: “Wait I dont? I do too, you know it.”
LOLison’s Boss: “Yes but Allison sings to me”
Hated Coworker: “I would too but I dont have a voice”
LOLison’s Boss: “I didnt ask you to...
December 2008
1 post
I don't think she can get any dumber
Me: So OJ was sentenced to 15 years in prison!
Dumb Ass Coworker: Oh my god, hasn't this been going on for over 10 years?
Me: Are you for real?
Dumn Ass Coworker: Yeah, for murdering his wife?
November 2008
7 posts
omg you guys
Dumb Ass: Oh my god, you guys, so this morning I was taking a walk and I saw a slug. And........ it had a shell on its back!!!
Me: So, it was a snail?
Dumb Ass: Really? I've never seen a snail before!!! Is that what it is?
...Um wow.
vaderland:
An IM conversation between a co-worker and myself.
co-worker: Hey Eric
Me: Yes.
co-worker: Are you at your computer?
Me: No ;)
co-worker: Ok, well let me know if you can get to it soon so that we can start the meeting.
Me: Ok, I’ll let you know.
Her prononciation of “Crudites” was just too much for me to handle.
Me: The DOW closed below 8,000 for the first time in 5 years.
Dumb Ass: What's the DOW?
“So George Bush was our 43rd president? Even though he did two terms, that...”
– She NEEDS to stop talking about politics. I can’t do it anymore!
“So Obama gets to ACTUALLY LIVE in the White House?”
October 2008
4 posts
“My client asked me to list all of the items provided on the BUFFITS (aka...”
– Guess who?
Snotty and I had to make a mad dash to the kitchen and spent a good five minutes quietly cracking up to the point of tears.
REALLY???
Tina: I really like Al Gore!
Me: Yeah, it's too bad the Al Gore of 2008 wasn't the Al Gore of 2000.
Dumb Ass CoWorker: What??? What is Al Gore running for??? President???
“How does it just come undid like that on it’s own?”
– Well, it doesn’t just come “undid”. You just said that because you feel completely stupid for not checking to see if your computer is plugged in before you bothered the IT guy.
(Darwin award winner at work after being told that her internet is not in fact “broken” but...
“So is Yom Kippur like your Christmas?”
– not quite…
About the Palin SNL Video
Dumbass: So do they ever get people who look like the person? Like could they find someone who looked like Sarah Palin?
Me: That was not Sarah Palin. That was Tina Fey.
Dumbass: Oh. Because I was thinking, "Wow, she's really making fun of herself."
September 2008
9 posts
“Wait a second…A prisoner is going to be our president???”
– Dumb Ass, about McCain being a P.O.W.
She just mispronounced “Regulators” TWO TIMES in the past 5 minutes. I had to contain my giggles.
“What’s an anomaly?…Is it…?”
– and then she didn’t even try to make up a guess.
“Does it have chicken on it?”
– While looking at a “chicken” sandwich from a VEGAN RESTAURANT!
“Is “mitt” a word? Like baseball mitt?”
“Isn’t the election not decided until, like, November?”
– in response to my boss saying, “I think the Republicans are going to win.”
“Who is Charles Manson? Was he like, a murderer?”
“Is eat a verb?”
August 2008
6 posts
“What’s three times six?”
“How do you spell Nazi?”
“Is “kudos” some kind of slang people use when writing emails? I have...”
“Wait, you mean women were allowed to vote before black people?”
“What’s the difference between Democrats and Republicans?”
“What’s an eggplant? Does it taste good?”