This was waiting for me this morning in my work email:
Dear friends (all 156 of us):
Did you know you have a pocket angel? God hand picked your angel for you and because I sent you this email, he put that angel in your pocket! If you love your angel (and me, lol) pass this on to your friends and your angel will reward you with good luck and blessings!
Before I was an Angel I was a fairy in a flower; God, Himself, hand-picked me, And gave me angel power.
When He tucked me in your pocket He blessed you with Angel care; Then told me to never leave you, And I vowed always to be there.
My reply to her:
I regret to inform you that when I did my laundry last night, I did not check my pockets, as I had no way of knowing that you had God send me an angel. While I did have the setting on gentle, I’m afraid I also had it on hot. My pocket angel might very well be pocket angel soup now.
In the future, please let me know when you are going to do these things so I can take better care to not kill any supernatural beings.
Also, God is probably pretty pissed off at you being that this angel’s blood is on your hands. So you might have to send out a lot of email prayers in order to make up for it. Not sure how that works. I wanted to ask on your behalf, but my email to firstname.lastname@example.org came back undeliverable. Anyhow, maybe you should say a couple of Hail Marys just to play it safe.
Have a wonderful day,
P.S. I looked in the washing machine and the dryer but there were no angel remains. Maybe they are biodegradable?
Stupid Work Girl: Wait, can you recycle tissues? Everyone: ….. SWG: What? It’s paper. We should recycle it. I’m going to make a bin for it. Everyone: …… Co-worker: That’s gross. SWG: I’m just trying to be a conservative! (walks off) Co-worker: What an idiot.